I’ve spent my entire lifetime waiting.

Whether that’s staying up for hours in anticipation for a single notification to appear on my phone or quickly growing frustrated when the person in front of me fails to accelerate the moment the light turns green; it seems as if every disappointment and moment worthy of celebration are the calculated results of my constant desire for more.

At times, I even find myself frustrated once the notification does eventually appear and when the person in front of me steps on the gas the minute the light turns green, I don’t have time to overly rejoice. In fact, I don’t even think twice about what’s happened because that’s just how it’s been, is and will always be. 

Worst of all, lately I’ve caught myself just waiting for people to mess up so I can call them out for what they did and how they hurt me, yet in doing so have let moments pass me by and turn quickly to memories.

Although one may argue that patience is an important virtue, there comes a point when it can only be properly fostered at the expense of one’s own mental health, as well as their relationships with those they love most in their lives.  

As I continue to reflect upon the past year and my journey to better express the most intimate and vulnerable parts of me, I’ve realized that it’s important to never stop finding new ways to convey the smallest and most meaningful moments of your life.

For it’s in those small moments, the ones when your cheeks turn pink, your heart skips a beat and tears stream down the outline of a perfectly pretty face, that you realize how it feels to be loved and to love. 

An entire lifetime is hidden in those small moments, if you gaze inside deep enough. It is my hope that as a readily evolving society we never stop searching for the right words to describe that lifetime and those moments. 

That way, one day, when we come face to face with the future, we’ll already know who made our heart skip a beat and how it felt when we traced the outline of a perfectly pretty face and recognized that feeling wasn’t jealousy, but rather love.

American writer Robert Brault puts it best, “Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”

I would be lying if I told you that refraining from waiting is easy because it’s not. In fact, it’s arguably one of the hardest things, as it takes time and patience; but sometimes the best things in life require the most work.

Love big and love often. For a love that is overgrown is a love that cannot be fixed without first being cut down. 

As an anonymous source once said, “Stop waiting for Friday, for summer, for someone to fall in love with you, for life. Happiness is achieved when you stop waiting for it and make the most of the moment you are in now.” 

So, why wait?