Picture this: it’s two weeks until spring break in Punta with your best friends, your new swimsuit just came in the mail, you try it on and you look in the mirror…what happens next? You: A) love what you see or B) stare blankly at yourself as a million insults flood into your mind. If you picked B, keep reading.

If I had a dollar for every time I heard someone say “self-love is so important”, I would have the money to look exactly how I wanted. So this isn’t about you, it’s about how your own hate gives hate. The hate you give yourself doesn’t just affect you, it’s contagious.

Now picture this: here I am on a vacation in Texas with my best friends about ready to enjoy a hot, sweaty day on a crowded beach. I begin to shake and choke up as I am nervously changing into my swimsuit. Half of my brain was focused on insulting itself and the other half was freaking out about what people would think of me. Was my swimsuit too much? Too little? Was I skinny enough? Was I tan enough? I was so preoccupied by my own perspective of my body that I forgot to give love to the people who were here to make memories with me, the ones who loved me unconditionally. This is just one way of how the hate you give poisons the ones closest to you. I robbed my friends of a happy, hype moment by complaining about myself and fishing for compliments.

Now picture this: after listening to you rant for hours and hours about how much you hate your body, your best friend is sitting in front of her mirror crying at how her size 2 body isn’t good enough, how she isn’t pretty enough. Why is this happening? Because I, with a similar body, went on for hours about how ugly and fat I was. Even though I never thought negatively of her, it was too late. I already ruined the way she viewed her features because I ripped my own apart. My own insecurities trained her to believe that she should also be self-conscious. She believed that what I hated about myself is what I hated about her. The way I saw myself ruined one of the most confident people I had ever met. I can’t forgive myself for that, could you?

I could go on forever about how your life is not your own. Your actions never affect only you. Your words never are just words. Your perception of yourself affects your vibe. If you don’t love yourself, how can you convince your best friend to love her/himself?

One last one, picture this: it’s senior year, your last prom, you and your best friends get ready putting on tuxes or zipping up dresses and you are ready to start giving all the parents a mini photoshoot….now what? You A) love what you see in the mirror and have a bomb night or B) you spend the whole night miserable because you are worrying about how you look. This is the last time you will ever have this moment and these people, how do you want to spend it?